It has been said that decisions are best made on a full stomach. If this is true, errors of judgment must be sweeping the globe. Don’t fret however, the big queso at the presidential palace has already been served his afternoon bowl of special K with red berries. That should allay fears about my recent seizure of private sugar plantations.
Nationalism never tasted so good! Today milk factories are being communally run, but tomorrow the sky is the limit: Chickens raised cradle to grill with a back-breaking leftist work ethic, land reform to open up space for our more marginalized fruits and vegetables, and state seasoned pork that would drive Rachael Ray to the brink of insanity.
Thirsty for a fresh-brewed cup of coffee? Try our house special, ‘Chavez Javas’. I know what most of you are thinking. “Why stop at cheap sugar? What if my chica likes chocolate?” Rest easy compadres, this is only the first of many postprandial power-grabs.
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