Eliot Spitzer, You make the Hulkster sick to my stomach. Sure, the Hulkster had an affair with a lady named Christine, sure he has estranged himself from his whole family and friends, but at least he did it with the most unattractive woman he could find.

And with good reason, the Hulkster needs his heir. Brooke has muscle but no charisma, and Nick, well it looks like he’s spending the rest of his youth under house arrest. You are just a sleazy politician looking to bust a nut in some girl you found on Myspace. The Hulkster listened to her music and read her lyrics, and though I never thought this was possible, she has less talent that Brooke. Shame on you brother!

Baby goes inside here

My Christine, who has a disproportionate body and resembles a young Macho Man, is exactly the kind of monster I needed to mate with. You Maniacs think I was a rare specimen, wait till you see my Hulk-a-Babiac! He’ll have the brains of Zeus, the arms of Hercules, and be more hung than Tommy Lee!