March sure was full of Madness. No I’m not talking about the NCAA brothers, I’m talking about the Hulkster’s pursuit of the perfect Hulk-a-Babiac specimen. When I realized Christine Plante’s hideous brunette hair could destroy my dream of a beautiful blonde baby “Skullet” I told her that her womb was no place for my super human seed. Instead of brooding like my ex-wife Linda (when she found out that I’ve been having affairs since Wrestlemania IV), I took a long walk down South Beach, and laid my eyes on the most beautiful blonde creation on God’s green earth, Jennifer McDaniel. She nearly fainted when the Hulkster tipped his bandanna-furnished head at her, and I couldn’t resist her buxom, succulent body.

Now a lot of these so-called pundits, have been saying Jennifer looks an awful lot like my little girl Brooke. Don’t you pukes think I’ve thought of this? Me, the most powerful force in the universe procreating with the most beautiful, talented singer of all time. Brooke and I talked about a possible relationship, but brothers seeing as I’m already in a world of legal trouble, Jennifer is the next best thing. I need her just long enough to pop out my heir when I can throw her aside and start the intense physical training. So I issue this to all the wrestling legends like Ric Flair, Dusty Rhodes, whose kids are a buncha pencil neck geeks, “Whatcha gonna do brothers, when Hulk-a-Mania’s Golden Boy Beats the Living Crap Out of You!?”