Associated Press

Well, it looks like Bob Evans is no longer with us. He is dead at age 89.

Biscuits and gravy, sausages, cheeseburgers, meatloaf, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, chicken-fried steak — how did this guy even make it to 40?

With a proper diet, I bet he could have lived to a ripe old age of 140! Then, could you imagine all the things Mr. Evans could have accomplished?

I mean, we all know he started out as a lowly pig farmer, differentiating himself from other sausage makers by using only the finest parts of the pig, not the leftovers. But with 50 more years? I’m thinking he’d have started moving beyond selling novelty mugs, hats and t-shirts. Maybe he would have sold Bob Evans polos. Why not Bob Evans seersucker suits? Heck, even intimate apparel by Bob Evans! Edible turkey-sausage panties! Who wouldn’t want that folksy goodness supporting their delicates?

In half a century, Bob Evans wouldn’t just be a line of cashmere sweaters and a restaurant chain, Bob Evans would be a fashion movement. Liz Claiborne, move over (in your grave)!