by ninnet via Flickr

Look out, Jayson Blair is back to deliver groundbreaking news coverage around the clock … for this month’s McDonald’s newsletter! And the Times said I’d never work in the industry again! Suckas! Here’s my first hard-hitting article for McDonald’s Playland Monthly:

This Just In: French Fries Awesome
By Jayson Blair

Mayor McCheese officially declared today that McDonald’s French fries are “awesome” and “just don’t let that Hamburglar snatch them from you!” before entering a fun-looking plastic slide that dropped him into a ball-pit. Celebrity monster Grimace also added, “Why not supersize those fries for just 39 cents extra?” Ronald McDonald could not be reached for comment.

McDonald’s Editor’s Note: This Playland Monthly article contains the following errors:

• Mayor McCheese referred to the fries as “delicious,” not “awesome” as reported.
• Mayor McCheese did not use a slide after his speech but rather played on a seesaw.
• Mr. McDonald was present at the aforementioned press conference and in fact commented that kids everywhere should “believe in magic” before teleporting the entire crowd to a land where everything is made of burgers.