You hear about the rebel leaders from Colombia? What boardroom elected these amateurs? Over the weekend, the army killed one of them, then checked out his laptop for incriminating evidence. It turns it was just his porn computer. But after hours of sifting through “Vi@gr@” and “rolex 4 free” emails, an army intern came across this craftily encoded message:
From “President Hugo Chavez” soccerboi69@venezuela.gov,
To “General Oscar Naranjo” orangeoscar@drugcartels.org,
Date Feb 14, 2008 at 2:15 PM
Subject: give ur grl a mind-blowing 0rgasm, want to know how????
hola O, its chavy chase. the subject line of my email will hopefully throw off investigators should they kill u and steal ur comp.
jk!!!!!
n e wayz, im thinking bout sending u a gift. howz 300 mill sound???
death to usa,
hugo
From “General Oscar Naranjo” orangeoscar@drugcartels.org,
To “President Hugo Chavez” soccerboi69@venezuela.gov,
Date Feb 18, 2008 at 2:52 AM
Subject: Re: give ur grl a mind-blowing 0rgasm, want to know how????
u jokestr. u kno i never read emails on this comp…the keys are all stuck 2gether.
300 million $ sounds bueno, thx :)
long live castro,
oscar
ps….how DO i give my girl a mind-blowing 0rgasm???
From: “President Hugo Chavez” soccerboi69@venezuela.gov,
To: “General Oscar Naranjo” orangeoscar@drugcartels.org,
Date Feb 18, 2008 at 3:15 AM
Subject: Re: Re: give ur grl a mind-blowing 0rgasm, want to know how????
the perineum, u idiot. u don’t get Real Sex in the jungle???
Oh, FARC! Listen, rebels. If there is one business practice I learned during my Enron debacle, it is this: you have got to shred that shit!
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