Like most of you, I give online ads about as much time as it takes to curse them and close them. Sure, the silhouettes of men dancing in zoot suits, or lazy ass office workers dancing away productivity, or just about creature living or animated dancing, will capture my attention the two or three hundred times. (I’m very proud of DeVry University graduates for those last ones.) Still, I have consultants and personal assistants to act as my cogs in the capitalist machinery, so why pay heed to online ads that won’t be generating any sell-throughs on my part?
Well, the above ad captivated my attention last night, courtesy of insurance selection service AccuQuote. A quick trip to the site features the sort of vague, ellipses-besotted quote that would make a movie marketing department proud: “Site performs well…in depth…lots of learning tools!” Classic.
Back to the ad, though. There are a few points of interest here, including the possibility that Anna Nicole Smith may have faked her death. The somber content does hammer home that life insurance can provide much needed financial security to loved ones in the event of your sudden death - especially if you were the sort of man who, suffering a mid-life crisis, dumped your wife of twenty years to marry the “executive assistant” twenty years your junior.
The ad also shows that if the kid were smart he’d give the Law & Order detectives a ring. I wouldn’t trust that black widow of a step-mother standing so aloof in the background. The bulk of the insurance money is going to go to him (much to the step-wife’s rage), only to be fully accessible if the son turns eighteen or dies, in which event it all goes to her and her soon-to-be “new special friend”, Mickey “Mad Dog” O’Bannon.
So, props to AccuQuote for providing me reliable quotes on life insurance policies. More importantly, props for the not-so-subtle but still valuable message that when it comes to insuring your family’s future, your family is about as trustworthy as the front office of the New England Patriots.
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