I invented something y'all! ... Vitamin Beer!

This just goes to show I do my best thinking when having sex ... or should I say when doing sex acts ... or should I say when Tony tries to guilt me into performing a sex act.

OK, so the other day we were getting frisky and he said: "Come on babe, you could use a little extra protein in your diet."

Ewww! right?

But then I was like if THAT can have nutritional value, then why not other things? So I tossed some ideas around: bacon grease moisturizer, insulin-rubbed ribs, fried water. I still couldn't come up with that golden idea and then I tripped and spilled my vitamin water into Tony's beer.

And Tony was like, you just made vitamin beer. And I was all, "What's your point?"

And he said, "Isn't this EXACTLY that stupid thing you won't shut up about ... turning an unhealthy thing into something a little less unhealthy but is still plenty unhealthy?"

And you know what? It was.

One day, after aliens kill everyone and then thousands of years later when other aliens come down and dig through the rubble to learn about our civilization, they will most likely conclude that Kepler, Edison and myself were the greatest inventors of our species.