Fox News you just made the list. I am so mad I can't even booyaah today. Ok maybe one, but just because Big Cram is all about keeping it real. A big Blow Me Booooooooyyyaaaahhhhh to Fox Buiness News.
For those loyal Cramericans who haven't heard the news, those douchebags over at Fox, in a pathetic attempt to try to increase their anemic ratings, are going after the Big Dog. That's right, they have a commercial attacking me, which for some reason my own freakin network aired. Take a gander here:
In this ad, they point out that my picks consistently under-perform the market. They mention how I said to buy Wachovia just before they went under. Fox even had the gall to bring up the fact that I told people to get out the market the day before it sky-rocketed 11%. Ok, that all may be true, but who calls a brother out like that?
Has Fox never heard of Man Law? You don't date your budy's ex-lady, and you don't call our the accurate incorrect stock picking of another dude on national TV! What a bunch of little bitches. What's next? Are they going to call my show too dumb for a sophisticated investor and too complicated for the average perso, which it is? Or will those roving band of sperm-burpers highlight how I get beat in the ratings by Paris Hilton's New BFF show on VH1?
So Fox Business News, you go on the List, and you will be dealt with in time. Don't worry Fox-atards you have plenty of company on the List. You join such huge toolboxes as mega-bitch Suze Orman, chode-smoker Ralph Nader and total wad-thumper John Stevens (he is this dude from my high school who everybody totally hated).
Ralph Nader:
Hey Cramer did you ever think for a minute, that maybe you do suck? If one person calls you a horse you call him a jerk, one a second person calls you a horse you punch him in face, but when a third person calls you a horse, you may want to get fitted for a saddle. You dumb fucking horse.
10/17/2008 11:36 AMSarah Palin:
You bethya Cramer. I guess this is God's way of telling you that you are big meany and it took the noble people of Fox News, the only news channel worth watching, to do the work of the Lord and point that out.
10/17/2008 11:40 AMSnoop Dogg:
Don't be a playa hater Fox News you bizzle fizzles! Cramer is cracka-lacka-tastic, fa schizzle my nizzle! Hizzle, hizzle to wizzle-kizzle!!
10/17/2008 11:42 AMBen Bernanke:
Current adverse market conditions will only be exacerbated by imprudent and hyperbolic speculations as to equity volatility and potential yadda-yadda-yadda between investment advisors, so everybody cool it, okay? And Suze Orman is a total babe, if she's reading this.
10/17/2008 11:59 AMWarren Buffett:
And let's don't forget the BUY on BSC. You put the "mo" in moron, Big Dog.
10/17/2008 6:12 PMBigfoot:
Now Jimbo, I must say we need to point out you recco'd Bear right before the plunge, Lehman on Sept 8th on Crazy Money (done your way pal), and Wachovia pretty much before a 99% down move....Now, after you called the low saying sell on national TV, at the low, I am pretty sure you are sunk my man, especially as the market gears up to go on a huge run (which we all know you will try to say you called, but the get out message you delivered on the Today show will forever haunt you). Like your other pals at GS, might be time to come out here in the woods, and get a good rogering from the Foot (my nickname). Boohoooooo not booyah anymore
10/18/2008 9:47 AMBob Dylan:
Kramer, everyone knows nothin' a whole lot better'nyou but it don't help us much, and lord the damage you do do!
10/18/2008 6:54 PMSamuel L. Jackson:
Shiiiiiiit Negro, That's all you had to say
10/18/2008 9:38 PMBill Clinton:
Ya douchebag, arsehole Kramer.
10/19/2008 3:02 PMWesley Snipes:
Always bet on black, fool.
10/20/2008 12:55 AMBill O'Reilly:
O. K., Cramer, I'll blow you. But, in return, I expect some anal satisfaction, some real "fair and unbalanced" anal satisfaction, if you know what I mean.
10/29/2008 1:56 PM