(in this picture: Indian-American girls, not American Indian girls)

Well, I'm in New York for a few days. Long story, but I'll tell you that I had the greatest falafel roll-up today. I don't know what was in it, but it tasted like either roasted red peppers or pimento cheese spread. One of these days, I'll get around to solving that little mystery.

But while I was waiting in line, two different girls were in front of me. They weren't together, but they looked similar. They were equally honeylicious, as Seacrest sometimes says. They were both dressed similarly, like yuppie students from wealthy families, and they looked very much alike, too. Only difference: one was American Indian, and the other was Indian-American. (I provided a couple of links in case you're behind.)

How can you tell the difference? I don't really want to be "that guy" who generalizes ethnic groups into stereotypes, but here's how:

• American Indian girls are regularly glaring at white guys. Indian-American girls are lusting after white guys.
• American Indian girls are free to date white guys, while Indian-American girls only do so out of rebellion, and to get into blues bars.

Normally I'm fielding questions from fans, like "I'm 14, will I find true love?" or "John, how do you know so much about life and love?" or "Will Qtrax be available for Mac soon?" If it has to do with music, Macs, or love, usually I can answer it. But I guess I need to admit that I'm stumped when it comes to hooking up electronic equipment, so I'm coming to you, News Groper readers, for the answer. My other blogs that I am constantly abandoning and then rejuvenating are only read my obsessive girl fans, and they wouldn't know what Blu-Ray was anyway. 

So, I recently bought an HD DVD player because Best Buy was selling them all for really cheap, like they were almost giving them away. I bought a really nice one for only $1. How cool is that? But I'm having a problem. I got an advance copy of my newest DVD on Blu-Ray about a month ago (I had to pay extra), and it's not playing in my HD DVD player. What's happening?

I mean, it was like clockwork back in the day. I’d go to some club or coffee house when I was bored, whip out my guitar, strum a few of those chords, A or C# or whatever, and bam, it was a done deal. I didn’t always get a super model or anything, but she had at least done some modeling.

The last couple years though, I mean, I’m not running a charity here.

Sure, I have a famous girlfriend, Jennifer something… But you guys don’t know the thrill of blowing the mind of a small town cocktail waitress who is having trouble with her boyfriend and then getting to you know… live the song out in real life.

I’d just drop into my sultry, full bodied voice with a line like “One pair of candy lips and your bubblegum tongue,” and ba da bing. But now…

This is so embarrassing. I lost my cell phone (and no, not to get a free upgrade), and now my phonebook has only Jennifer's number and my Dad's - those are the only two I had memorized. This is like the 10th time I've lost my phone and had to get a newer, fancier one each time, and email like a hundred people asking them for their numbers.

I have no idea where I could have left it -- maybe the library or the Gap, it doesn't matter. But I need your numbers! I've already started a group on Facebook and submitted a blog post through MySpace, and so blogging on here remotely from the house is my last resort. And Jared, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I couldn't make it into the News Groper office today. I'll try to make it in tomorrow.

Anyway, please leave your number in the comment section! Or email them to me at john@johnmayer.com. Thanks!

I hope the Lakers school the Celtics!

Correction: Jennifer Aniston and I hope the Lakers beat the Celtics.

I just came back from a late-night meeting with some other familar faces in the LA scene: Will Smith, Jack Nicholson, Justin Timberlake (who brought his Grammy), and Lindsay Lohan. They told me I have to root for the Lakers, even though they wouldn't answer me the question why they're called The Lakers. Are there any lakes in LA? I haven't seen any, and the ocean doesn't count.

I know, I know. I've not been blogging as much as I'd like, or as much as my stalker, Andy, would like me to. What with all my interviews lately, my dating Jennifer Aniston (who has been writing these blogs with me now), and the release of my live DVD, I don't always have time to sit here and discuss the ways we can save the world, end poverty, and deport Simon Cowell. 

Jennifer and I didn't have anything to blog about, until she reminded me that I need to pay my traffic ticket soon. What a bummer. Jennifer and I were told that famous people in Land Rovers in West Hollywood didn't get tickets or even notice of the police or photographers unless they were on drugs and not wearing panties.

Well, I can guarantee that Jennifer and I were wearing panties.

Jennifer and I are showing all the signs of a healthy photographed relationship. We're seen eating out, we're seen going into the movie theaters, and we're going to get matching tattoos. I'm thinking "Cowboy/Cowgirl up" - what do you guys think?

But one think we're missing is a cute celebrity name. You know, like Brangelina, Speidi, Tomkat, etc. I already have some that I'm thinking of, but I wanted to get your opinion first:

• Mayerston
• Animayer
• JohnJen
• Mayifer
• Lovebirds

That last one wasn't my idea (and I even told her it's two words). She's been watching over this blog post the whole time, and she typed it in while I stopped to go to the bathroom. So, from now on, she's probably going to be overseeing all these blogs. That just means they'll be really cute. 

So this weekend, I was at home, trying to spend a peaceful Memorial Day weekend with Jennifer (Yes, musicians take holidays, too). We had this whole luau theme going on, and I was in my Hawaiian shirt, Jennifer was topless with a grass skirt, and we were listening to a demo tape of Rob Thomas covering Jimmy Buffet songs.  Does it get any better?

And what appears in the middle of my zen-like weekend? Jealous exes trying to pee all over me and Jen's romance.

First, her ex, Vince Vaughn says I'm in it for the publicity. Umm, Vince, what publicity? People stop and see us on the street because we make a cute couple. Then, my ex, Jessica Simpson, calls me a ladies' man (which is kind of a compliment - thanks Jess!), trying to convince Jennifer to not date me.

One of the annoying things about blogging at News Groper is that the editors are constantly asking me for guitar advice, or they're asking if I can find them tabs to old Smashing Pumpkins songs, or they're quoting lines to Spinal Tap, thinking I'll reply back with a quote (how many times to I have to tell them I haven't seen it?). But recently, they've been bugging me about American Idol.

One of them said, "Do you think David Cook is a god?" Sorry, Idol fans, but he's not very good. Here's why: