Apparently, some readers of this blog can’t wait two days without hearing from me. I keep getting emails from readers asking when the next post is going to be. I have a lot going on. I don’t just sit around and blog, you know. I also play guitar, remember?
Anyway, since the new year is upon us, I’d like to share some of my new year’s resolutions. This will sort of work like a top 10 list, with #10 being the least important resolution (and the one I am most willing to break) and #1 being the most important resolution (and the one I might write a song about).
10. Find way to increase popularity of hand parentheses (Similar idea behind finger quotes but involving more palm).
9. Quit being so passive about socioeconomic and geopolitical change.
8. Ween self off of Joy. Spend the extra dollar on environmentally friendly dish soaps such as Seventh Generation.
7. Watch every Tremors movie. 
6. Personally respond to every piece of fan mail, including visiting every MySpace address I get sent, and coming to every birthday party I’m invited to. (Liz, I’ll be there on January 7th, at 7:00 PM - do I need to bring any chips or soda?)
5. Return Ryan Seacrest’s phone calls.
4. Find my old tapes of recorded Major Dad episodes in my parents’ basement.
3. Put an end to cold sores.
2. Become uni-coastal.
1. “Run into” Ricki Lake a few more times.
Also, Ricki Lake, if you’re reading this blog, please leave a private comment below. Just click the box that says “make comment private.” Thanks.
Mike:
John you always say you're going to reply to my emails but you never do.......I feel so cheap!
1/24/2008 2:44 AMJess:
love to
1/15/2008 10:41 PMAmy:
I have 2 friends at the ready LOL...
1/1/2008 10:18 PMkk:
Please come to my birthday party. My mom says I can have a birthday party if you are going to come to it.
12/28/2007 2:47 AMJess:
lol i like #10
12/27/2007 11:19 PMJohn Mayer:
Hmm... I seriously doubt this is THE Ricki Lake. This is not the place to be impresonating celebrities.
JM
12/28/2007 1:46 PMnikkimarie:
Here Here to resolution #3 & #6!
#3-Cold sores. Don't they suck donkey balls? Zovirax (Don't pay attention to the adverse side effects that probably include something like renal failure, blindness, cancer or even death....it's probably nothing....even though it states 50% of the test subjects...I wouldn't worry about it....)
#6-Myspace. Yes, yes and YES! I mean, haven't you noticed me with the "boobs bouncing in slow mo" or the "hands on my gorgeous g-thong ass" girating in a circle while opening and closing my butt cheeks on tempo to Waiting for the World to Change (that was to show you how much that song has changed my life forever)? I mean I just look god damn gorgeous and I can't believe you haven't noticed me yet. What do I have to do to get your attention? That's it, I am going to take a picture of my va-Jay Jay and surely you'll notice me then! I wonder if I could make it do the same thing as my ass (to Waiting for the World to Change)...that would be raw talent at its finest......
ok-ok-ok............well if it wasn't me mocking it, someone else sure as hell would have..........lmao lmao
Happy 2008,
1/1/2008 7:11 PMNikki
John Mayer:
Liz and Jess,
I'm going to the mall in a few minutes, you guys wanna come with?
JM
12/28/2007 12:12 AMAmy:
I liked the first Tremor movie. The rest suck.
12/27/2007 9:22 PMSabrina Leao:
So John, new girlfriend for the New Year? - S*L
1/3/2008 7:41 AMGR:
Can I come to the mall too, John?
GR
12/28/2007 12:58 AMliz:
Both,can't wait.
12/27/2007 9:31 PMKristi:
I feel stalkerish being on here =[
I liked your resolutions... # 5 made me laughh
12/28/2007 2:56 AMAmy:
"Liz and Jess,
I’m going to the mall in a few minutes, you guys wanna come with?
JM"
Boo I feel so rejected... :-)
12/29/2007 3:40 AMRicki Lake:
John,
You never returned any of my text messages while I was on Howard Stern, so we're done. Stop stalking me!!
Ricki
12/28/2007 7:38 AMJohn Mayer:
Nikki Marie,
I loved your site. The MySpace site was quite breathtaking. Do you want to come over to my apartment and eat goo-goos?
John Mayer
1/16/2008 3:54 AMJohn Mayer:
Amy,
You're welcome with me to lunch, but I'm carpooling. Can you round up two more people?
John Mayer
12/31/2007 4:42 PMGR:
Don't get your hopes up, Mike.
1/24/2008 5:41 PMI'm still waiting for John to invite me over for Egg Beaters.
GR
John Mayer:
Mike,
I don't have your email address. If I did, I would love to email you. Perhaps leave it here on the message
board, just click the "private" box. There's a joke there somewhere.
JM
1/24/2008 5:26 PMLaura:
John, I think you should resolve to wear that Borat "swimsuit" you wore on the Mayercraft more often. Wanna grab some Pinkberry and make some sexy time next time you're in NYC?
2/9/2008 9:10 PM