I didn't even know it was going to be the 4th of July until I looked at the calendar. Holy crap, the holidays come and go. It seems just yesterday it was Global Forgiveness Day. 

On that note, I'd like to take this time to publicly ask for the forgiveness of the Borders book chain stores. You see, I'm about to rock their (and your) world, by bringing you a list of books that I have "forgotten to put back on the shelf" after I walked out of the store. These books are not equipped with that magnetic security device that triggers the alarms.

The Chicken Book by Page Smith - This delightful tome will have you rollicking with joy as you peer at the feathers of some of the world's most pretentious and sexy chickens out there. This is a good coffee table book to get the conversation started. Incidentally, this is not a cook book.

Help! I'm a Military Spouse--I Get a Life Too!: How to Craft a Life for You As You Move With the Military, (Second Edition) by Kathie Hightower and Holly Scherer - Worried that your husband is spending too much time with the military? Is he or she just hanging out with military friends on military bases and getting a military haircut and not actually joining? Well, this is a great book, because it can really get you set for officially joining the Navy or the Army ROTC.

Straight Talk on Tough Topics by Chris Jackson - Classic. I had this book when I was first starting college and leaving the house. The book tackles issues that no one else will. And a note to my gay friends, no, this is not just for straight people. I made sure of that before I bought it again.

Left Behind by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins - I think Borders is just trying to give this away now. I don't know why, 'cause it's awesome. I'm reading it right now, and I'll report back on how good it is (so far, no sex though).

I would love to list them all here, but I don't have time. If you peek inside my satchel, you'd see all the goodies that have made it across the Borders border (been wanting to say that) freely. I'm not condoning stealing, but I wanted you to know that if you forgot one of these books in your possession, and you were, say, in the parking lot and you didn't feel like returning it, or you feel like you might hurt the feelings of the security guard for revealing how incompetent he or she is, then you can just go home.

Also, Owen Robertson who works at the Borders on Sunset Boulevard is a jerk and I will never patronize that store again!