Well, it was just announced the Republican YouTube debates are back on for November. In order to prepare for the type of questions we’ll be receiving, I found a public library on the outskirts of Sioux City and practiced answering some questions already submitted online:
Don’t be so down on prisons Joseph, they’re not so bad. Three squares a day, a bed at night and a roof over your head — what else do you need? It sure beats fighting that angry drunk Ol’ Patches for a thick piece of cardboard box. The only problem is they make it so hard to get into prison, nowadays you have to do something crazy like bite a policeman.
Are you kidding? If I worked for minimum wage I’d be about ten times richer than I am now. I’m salivating just thinking about all the cans of baked beans I could buy making $6 an hour. Oh, my sweet beans. Dreams can be cruel sometimes.
So … are you Mexican or Chinese? It doesn’t matter I guess. Being a recipient of discrimination myself, I feel your pain. Everyday I hear things like, “Go get a job, you dirty old bum!” or, “Get out of my trash you filthy hobo!” People won’t even listen to my immigration proposals, they just laugh at me and throw change. And I yell, “I’m a United States senator for Christ’s sake!” and that just makes them laugh harder.