Lately, everyone’s been asking me who my VP is going to be. All these governors keep calling me and saying, “Hey John, I really liked your interview on Fox News last night,” or “I think you’re a very handsome man,” or “You know what I would be really good at? Breaking a tie vote in the Senate.” I feel like the most popular girl in high school, except I don’t even have to put out. It’s going to take a while to find the perfect candidate, but here’s a list of some I’m considering:
Mike Huckabee:
Pros: I would get to meet Chuck Norris. Did you know that Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head?
Cons: Would probably talk about Jesus all the time as if he was real.
Sarah Palin:
Pros: Talk about body! She makes Hillary Clinton look like a tranny. Well, like a tranny even uglier than Hillary Clinton.
Cons: I don’t trust anyone who isn’t old enough to remember when Alaska wasn’t a state.
Condoleeza Rice:
Pros: Would prove that not all women and blacks are Democrats.
Cons: That distracting gap between her teeth makes makes me daydream of my forgotten aspirations to be an NFL placekicker. Also the whole Bush administration baggage thing.
Tim Pawlenty:
Pros: Sent me a really nice fruit basket (with mangoes!) and signed it, “Your BFF, Timmy. If you ever feel down, I’m just a phone call away.”
Cons: All of his text-messages are driving up my cellphone bill.
Rick Santorum:
Pros: He hates gays, evolution, and abortions.
Cons: Every time I mention his name, some of the reporters giggle, and I don’t know why.
Syrin:
Are We Proud as Alaskans? NO!
Sarah Palin, aka Sarah the Incompetent, Queen P, Chavez in drag proposed and pushed through the largest socialistic inspired raise in taxes, in the history of the world. She supports the idea that the State can seize the property of private industry aka oil producers in Alaska if they don’t do what she wants. She has attacked almost the entire Republican majority in the house and senate. She just recently tried to oust the Republican party chair at the annual convention. And, Parnell announced that after providing no service to the State of Alaska for 18 months in his present position as Lieutenant Governor, he decided to run against the incumbent, and senior Senator Don Young. He did not even has the class to give him a heads up. Another sophmoric event..Sarah stood by and giggled when a radio shock jock called the Republican President of the Senate a “bitch” and “a cancer”. Sarah also threatened to support Democrats running against Republicans, if they did not support her tax and spend policies. She did live up to her threat! There is NOTHING conservative or pro business about this fulfillment of incompetence, Sarah Palin!
She would be a disaster in any political position. This woman has no self control and is full of folly. And, it seems unbenounced to the State of Alaska, she announced she is 7 months pregnant w/#5. That is most of her first year in office. She is now over her head..pregnant.
Political Parody. . . . . . to imitate for purposes of satire or ridicule.
650KENI for Dairy Queen
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Life Long Alaskan in Opposition to Sarah Palin
3/25/2008 12:52 PMMike Huckabee:
The only "vices" in my vocabulary come with extra cheese and a strawberry milkshake.
3/31/2008 7:31 PM