Yes, I "strenuously disagreed" with my aid who said a "fresh terrorist attack" would help my candidacy. For starters since when do we describe terrorist attacks in terms of freshness? Is it a delicious sandwich with boar's head products? No, it's bombing and death and the TERROR!

But moreover, I'm not so sure it would help. It would be a nice thought and all, but in practice ... meh. Yes, a lot of people would be scared. And when people get scared, they turn into Republicans. But others would take a step back and realize the best solution is a transcendence of race and religion and blah blah blah hippie garbage.

What would help my candidacy is the ultimate terrorist attack: the apocalypse! With the lakes of fire, and the garden of Earthly delights (which would probably cause a family values backlash!). Do you know what one of the Horsemen would say to "Barack Obama represents a new kind of politics?" Trick question. He wouldn't say anything. He'd decapitate you with his sword.

But then the question becomes would I rather have the sky falling and me in charge than Obama and relative peace. Well, I'll have to get back to you on that one...