Okay, some staffer just handed me a story about how I'm being sued by Jackson Browne because we used "Running on Empty" in one of my ads.

I have two questions. One who picked a lame Jackson Browne song? Because whoever did is fired.

And two--do I care what Jackson Browne thinks? I spent five and a half years in a Viet Cong prison camp. Do you think I'm gonna get upset because the King of Southern California Wimp Rock got his feelings hurt?

Let me tell you--being attacked by someone like Jackson Browne is a politician's dream. I'm looking down the list of losers he's backed since he turned "political". Al Gore and John Kerry. Like I say, this is money in the bank. If I knew where to find the internet, I'd put this up on my website.

Hey, I've got an idea. Let's use one of The Eagles songs next! I could win all 50 states!