My friends--what? You've heard me say that too many times? Okay--fine.
My pals--tomorrow the Republican Party will make history, defeating the first Hawaiian-Muslim-African-American presidential candidate. And we'll do it fair and square.
Tonight we're going to give every African-American voter a quart bottle of Colt .45, the malt liquor preferred by black Star Wars actors--like Billy Dee Williams. And every newly-registered young American who's drawn to the polls by the excitement and celebrity of Senator Obama will get a free "joint" or "doobie", which he or she can "Bogart" for a righteous "hit".
That's right--tonight, blacks and young people can "go crazy" and "party like it's 1999"--courtesy of the GOP!
Who says it's "hip to be square?" Not me. I say it's hip to party until you're so blotto you don't wake up until the polls close on Election Day.
Barack Obama:
Can I have some of that too?
11/4/2008 12:12 PMBarack Obama:
Cause I'm going to be celebrating your ass-kicking all night long, old man.
11/4/2008 12:53 PMChristopher Hitchens:
Jesus I could use a drink........
11/5/2008 4:58 PMLindsay Lohan:
Someone say drink? Woohoo! Let's make it a PAR-TAY!!!
11/5/2008 7:12 PM