Associated Press
I landed the cover of the Hollywood Reporter yesterday. Says, “Kiefer Sutherland is probably the best male actor on TV.”
Probably?
Name another actor who can kill people, but also cry. Name a fucking actor who can even cry. Steve Carell? Yeah it’s so difficult to run a small paper company. Dr. McFuckface from Grey’s anatomy? I’m sending the bastards TO the hospital, and I’m sending others to the grave … while being TORTURED. Even that little Asian coward from Heroes can’t say that.
PROBABLY the best actor? Doesn’t make a difference to me anyway. I’m not in it for the glory. If I were, I’d be dead by now.
Brad Bailey:
Hilarious. I would say it's probably the best post ever, but I don't want to end up getting tortured for saying probably.
8/21/2007 7:12 PMAmerican Idol Judges:
Steve Carell is more of a man than you'll ever be, and more of a woman (when he cries) than you'll EVER get!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1/23/2009 12:37 PMBill Clinton:
I'd do him
1/23/2009 12:38 PMAngelina Jolie:
Steve Carell is more of a man than you'll ever be, and more of a woman (when he cries) than you'll EVER get!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1/23/2009 12:41 PMi should know
Lindsay Lohan:
Duuuude. Steve Carell is amazzzzinggg!!! He's like so funny and shit. Man, it's too bad I'm a lesbian. I'd hit that.
1/23/2009 12:42 PMLindsay Lohan:
Duuuude. Steve Carell is amazzzzinggg!!! He's like so funny and shit. Man, it's too bad I'm a lesbian. I'd hit that.
1/23/2009 12:43 PMLindsay Lohan:
Duuuude. Steve Carell is amazzzzinggg!!! He's like so funny and shit. Man, it's too bad I'm a lesbian. I'd hit that.
1/23/2009 12:43 PMBrad Pitt:
ANGIE! Hey Kiefer, you leave the Asian alone, those folks can be mean little bastards. i have one!
1/23/2009 12:44 PMKim Jong-il:
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no me like what you say!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you bad people! we have no bad people where we from!
1/23/2009 12:46 PMBill O'Reilly:
f-ing red
1/23/2009 12:47 PMRyan Seacrest:
Daaaamn. I agree with Lindsey... Too bad Simon's keeping me busy ;D
Anyway. Kim, you gotta not be so Asian, and Brad...Call me.
Angie, you have succulant lips and I wish I could succule them.
I don't think that succule is a word, but I'm America's Sweetheart so it's okay!!!
That reminds me of that Fall Out Boy song written about me..."Let's Hear it for America's Sweetheart!! I must confess...I'm in love with my Si-mon!! Let's hear it for America's Sweetheart!!! I'm in love with my Si----MON!!!!"
OMG!!! Oh yeah, and Brad and Angie...FUCK YOU FOR IGNORING ME AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES.....SRSLY...FUCK ME.
1/23/2009 12:26 PM