Photo by spcoon via Flickr.

I’m soooo totally sick of hearing about this iPhone! I know it does a lot, but I’m not impressed because I already have something that can perform all of those functions, and more. It’s called my assistant, Sherrie. She totally responds to voice commands like, get Chad Michael Murphy on the phone NOW! If I want to listen to music I just say Sherrie, Gnarles Barkley NOW! If I need directions, she gets them in a snap. I mean, I literally snap my fingers, and she gets me directions if she wants to eat this week.

I heard that some of these iPhones aren’t even working right anyway. Well I don’t have that problem with Sherrie. She works whenever I need her, even on Christmas. And can the iPhone bail you out of jail, or hold your hair when you’re vomiting? I don’t think so.

Although, I bet I wouldn’t have to listen to the iPhone bitch about not seeing its daughter enough. Whatevs though, Sherrie’s still better, she’s even typing this blog for me right now. Backspace, Sherrie. No, don’t type backspace, just go back! Stop typing everything I say! God, you’re stupid.