News Groper's celebrity bloggers are on indefinite strike. While we negotiate (indefinitely), check out Easy LOL to follow comedians on Twitter.

Marilyn Manson’s Blog

How to drop a hint to your girlfriend that death black is her color

By Marilyn Manson

Bio & Blog

I generally hate conformity, except when it comes to whomever I happen to be banging at the time. Before I started dating Rachel Evan Wood, she was your typical looking girl. Her wholesomeness sickened me—all that natural hair color and clear complexion. I can be very passive-aggressive when I want to. “Oh, the black hair dye is on sale at Walgreens,” I said one day. She didn’t get the hint. “Oh, the black hair dye is on sale at Walgreens,” I said again later that week. Finally, I drugged her and dunked her head in a bucket of black dye.

Some people say she’s slowly looking exactly like Dita Von Teese, which may be truth, though I molded Dita to look like Elvira—who I always thought was the female version of me. Now I know what you’re thinking: I’m already the female version of me. I suppose there’s some truth to that.

When I’m finished with Rachel, she’ll even have matching dental records with Dita, who once said to me during our courtship, “You had me at ‘I love your molars’.” There's just something about teeth; they look like tombstones.

I guess conformity is okay when you’re conforming into my personal dong receptacle. Oh Elvira, one day I’ll have you.  

5/29/2008 11:17 AM, Dayton, Ohio
7 comments

Marilyn Manson Email Alerts

feed This Blogger's RSS Feed

News Groper Weekly Email

Get the very best & funniest of News Groper in our weekly email newsletter.

Comments

Tom:

manson has always had good taste in women, and i mean that with 100% sincerity. read his memoirs for a literary account of his romances. now, i don't know why he'd go and divorce a women he just married - seems like an awful lot of trouble that could have been forseen - but i like single manson better anyways, as the gossip is quite amusing, plus the tales from his touring will be juicier for his second autobiography.

6/9/2008 2:57 AM

WTF:

.....silly manson...that is so cute...I LOVE YOU MANSON

6/14/2008 11:27 PM

ng:

you just love yourself, and we love u 'cause we love ourselves.

6/24/2008 2:59 AM

Bill Clinton:

marilyn manson is awseome

6/25/2008 2:18 PM

Emily Smith ;D:

Pfft. I dont think Manson molded Dita into an Elvira. She was who is was when they met and were together. Manson just wants Evan to look like his once amazing ex-wife so that way he can say that he has someone to match him. And Evan is dumb enough to go for it. Be yourself, not who someone wants you to be. I honestly think that Manson has put Evan in the mind set that she has to look this way.. but it isn't quite that obvious to her or other people. I love Manson, I love Dita, and I liked Evan when she was the way she was before.

6/29/2008 1:32 AM

Samantha:

Ha! I love these 'Marilyn Manson' blogs, sir or ma'am whoever writes these, you are a genius!

10/3/2008 12:46 AM

kt:

you could have me too. by the way, you are a genius to recognize about teeth. after my grandfather died, i went to his grave every saturday to bring a rare black rose that grows in my backyard. I tripped and fell and hit my head on his tombstone. A tooth fell out and i looked at it and realized that my tooth looked just like his tombstone. whenever i ask my family if they have noticed this, they look at me as if i am crazy. so, thank you.

12/13/2008 3:42 AM