Hello Mormons: fuck you too. You know who you are.
When our tour bus arrived at Salt Lake City, I immediately, and distinctly, felt the presence of two not-yet-fully-explained phenomena: salted air and Mormons. I know how to handle regular evangelical Christians (onstage auto-sodomy can be very compelling), but these Mormons are more complex. You can have 12 wives, but you can’t have caffeine.
One of the ladies from the Mormon Relief Society (who were protesting outside our van), greeted me with a liter of Coke, or as she referred to it, ‘Black Devil Water’. She shook it terrifyingly, uncapped it, and drenched me.