I can sing and scream all night about the repressed middle-america fools; I can talk all day about faux-politics and pseudo-philosophy. But honestly, I’m getting a little burnt out here with all these endless photo shoots. I’m so sick of making unnatural gapes with my mouth, and sticking out my tongue in unnecessary ways.

The whole point was to be different. My predecessors, albeit creative in their own way, simply didn’t flay the mark of progressive paradigm-bending culture that I do. Trent Reznor’s anger is one-dimensional, predictable in teen-age boy kind of way. Alice Cooper’s use of mascara is passé—a redundant circle ostensibly receding into his eye-socket like some human skull. Eww, I’m scared. Seriously, come on grandpa. Nobody does things with their mouth that I do, except for Mariah Carey when she does that crazy pitch thing.