I woke the other day and was informed by my local newspaper that it is the twenty-fifth anniversary of Thriller, a fact that gives me great pride. I am happy to have brought so much joy to the world over the last twenty-five years through all of my songs and concerts and highly publicized struggles with vitiligo, and many of the questions that I posed on that album remains every bit as valid today. Do you wanna be startin’ something?

But life is lived in the present, not in the past, and that is why I am proud to confirm the rumors of a forthcoming reunion with my brothers. That’s right: Jermaine, Tito, Randy, Jesse, Andrew, and I will be hitting the road before next summer. Jermaine recently spilled the news to BBC 6. Buy your tickets now. It is certain to be the concert event of the century, if not the year. And I’ll give you a special online preview

Hee-hee!

Didn’t that send shivers down your spine? It would have sent shivers down mine if I hadn’t had my spine surgically shortened so that the end could be removed and inserted into the pudding of skin and cartilage that was once my nose.