Disney is going to be publishing my totally awesome autobiography; they say they are going to get a “ghost writer.” No way! All those dead guys’ books are so boring.
Here is a preview:
- Birth: Awesome! I was so beautiful the doctor wept as he slapped me. Daddy then punched him for touching my ass.
- Afterbirth: Awesome! Sent to the Grand Old Opry to be put on display.
- First words: Awesome! Really.
- Puberty: Redacted by Daddy.
- Hannah Montana: Awesome! Disney had some stupid show idea about a girl who is secretly a famous singer and disguises herself in a lame wig. Totally bogus. But then they hired me and it’s the greatest show ever.
- Future: Awesome! Except for a stint in prison for killing Julianne Hough with a nine-inch heel for booty-calling my baby daddy Adam Carolla.
Britney Spears:
I actually WAS the afterbirth...that was before I ate my twin brother, however.
4/22/2008 4:23 PMChris Hansen:
For the protection of the public morality, I will be monitoring the comments on this blog entry.
I will also pre-emptively tell Bill Clinton to have a seat over there.
4/22/2008 9:51 PMEugene:
I know this is all a joke but its lame... she's only 15, she doesn't deserve this kind of disrespect, and why Adam Corolla? WTF!?
5/7/2008 1:35 PMAnonymous:
Shut UP!
5/7/2008 5:20 PMMiley Cyrus:
I love Miley Cyrus. None of that stuff is true, that doesn't even look like her!! I hate those people who made this stinkin' heap of junk. I love Miley Cyrus, have every single Hannah Montana item and am her biggest fan and will see her someday.
7/7/2008 3:29 PM