I’m so bummin’ about the Grammys! I was looking forward to presenting with Kayne West or Justin Timberlake and I get stuck with Phyllis Diller.

So I’m up there and she’s all smelling like moth-balls and Ben Gay and she starts talking about how I should win best new artist next year. Well duh! I think they should nominate both me and Hannah Montana and they could show me, then I could put on the wig and they could show Hannah. I was thinking about having my impostor go as Hannah but the last thing I want is someone pretending to be me accepting a Grammy for someone I’m pretending to be.

Then this gross Amy Outhouse person wins for Rehab which totally ripped off the song I wrote when I was six. (”I don’t wanna clean the bathroom Daddy no no no.”)

I just saw myself in the number one movie in American, Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus in 3-D, and, like, I’m totally hot in that movie, and not in a Jillian who wore her shorts too tight in gym class hot, but classy hot like Hilary Duff(for President y’all; she would be totally cool and nobody would have to worry about Nicole Richie skanking up the White House.)

Associated Press

Hi guys! It’s me Miley!

Sorry it’s taken me so long to blog. I’ve been so busy my impostor has been hospitalized for exhaustion!!

Did you hear about Heath’s dead body report? He like died from taking six types of pills. Did you guys know they had that many types?

I am still bummin’ about it though. He was number three on my Dad’s list of boys I can give my flower to when I turn 28; between the two cute Jonas Brothers and the not so cute one.