An event occurred recently that carried such magnitude I can’t imagine a day will go by that I don’t feel the repercussions in some way or another; such magnitude that I felt rightly justified in puttin’ these old hands to work on a new blog. It all started with a youngster who went by the name of Leroy Jenkem. Leroy, who by my eye must’ve been around 16 years old, spotted me whittling on the front porch and looking into the horizon with a twinkle in my eye, which is how I generally prefer to spend my afternoons.

“Hey mister! You ever try jenkem?” Leroy asked. I had to admit that I had not. Leroy explained to me that jenkem, also known as butt hash, is a new drug popular with the youngsters, a drug made from fermented human sewage. Now, I’ve always said I’ll try anything once, especially if it involves inhaling the fumes of my own waste for a cheap high.

But, hours later when my balloon was ready for consumption and I tried to get my jenkem on, I was hit with a hard truth: I had been fooled! A single tear slowly made its way down my cheek, for there was no high, only that aweful taste which lingered on my tongue for some time, like an old friend who’s outstayed his welcome… An old friend made of raw sewage and horse piss.