Hello and good evening. I don't wish to impose, but I felt I must notify your business of a grievance of mine.  Sonny, your parking garage has ultimately ruined my night. You see, this parking ramp, my boy, currently has no available parking spaces. Yet, it’s still permitting entrance into the ramp. Thoughtless and imprudent, is what this is.

I had tonight's itinerary planned out flawlessly. I was initially set to enjoy a solitary dinner for one at my local Applebee's Bar and Grill. I planned to ingest a chosen meal of a spinach & artichoke dip appetizer followed by the always alluring honey barbeque chicken sandwich. After the rigorous demands of my stomach had been met, I was to catch the latest showing of Gone Baby Gone. It would have been my third time this week seeing the film, as there are a few areas in the plot I am still trying to iron out.

When the clock read six o’clock, I made my way to your particular parking garage. As usual, I took a ticket and drove my 1989 Crown Victoria (I believe a man is only as modest as his automobile) upward to Level One. Now I am not criticizing the fact that there were no open spaces on the first level; in fact there seldom are. But after spiraling around all eleven levels, all filled with automobiles belonging to undoubtedly selfish and ungrateful men, I began to grow frustrated. 

The roof … my last option. No luck. I looked up to the sky as though some type of guidance would be shed upon me, but no such occurrence took place. I must have sat on the roof of that parking garage for nearly ten minutes straight.
Why did I choose to eat by myself, you ask? That’s a rather dim-witted question. I chose so because that is how a man gains time to think, time to appreciate things. Things like life, and the journeys that it still has to offer him.

I suppose the reason I’m contacting you now, sonny, is this… Why would you continue to allow the parking ramp to disperse tickets and allow entrance if there were no available parking spaces available? Surely with the modern technology of today there is a way to keep this condition under watch. It takes a gentleman of such foolishness to waste the precious time of another. Do you consider yourself to be foolish?

Because of your sheer inconsiderateness,I never did find that parking spot I was looking for. I was granted no spinach and artichoke dip. I saw no movie. I still don’t fully comprehend it.

Have a fine rest of your night.