You know what a sucka’ is? A sucka’ is a fool who don’t vote Mr. Splashy Pants in as the name of Greenpeace’s new whale mascot. A sucka’ if a fool who ain’t go no sense. If you was even thinking of voting for that whale to be named Bumi, Cian, Echo, Moya, Nurani, Shanti or some other one-dimensional uninspired rubbish, then you are a damn hippy sucka’.

Hippy, you best stick to naming your bongs and your hackysacks, and stay away from that whale!!! Do you know how many hippy suckas T can drop with one punch? That depends on the directional jet streams fool, but no fewer than eleventy. Leave the naming of that glorious beast to the rest of us more sensible folk.

This reminds me of another important vote. It took place 55 years ago (if you happened to be my momma). Momma named me Mr. T because she a real woman, not some flip-flop-wearing, charm bracelet-loving, Lucy in The Sky with Diamonds-humming, invisible orb-throwin’ candy raver hippy.