“Mother” gives the AirBook a stompin’

I went to the Apple Store this morning because my wifi has been down all week. If I go too many days without checking my MySpace profile, I get all disoriented. It feels like there ain’t enough air in the world to fill my lungs.

I’m still here, blogging from one of the new thin Aerodynamic-Macintosh-Books. I’m surrounded by fools who think these new laptops are great. Makes me mad enough to stomp a parakeet. All this people keep picking up these computers off table and saying “This computer’s so light” and “This computer’s so thin”. I ain’t a sucka. I like to break sweat when I pick a computer up.

I had my laptop custom built by the same people who make my gold chains. I call my laptop Mother out of loving respect for the glorious woman who raised me. I won’t bore you with the technical specs but suffice to say Mother is a thing of beauty. She is glistening and golden with 21 floppy disk drives and more USBs than you can imagine. Show me another computer where you can insert all five install disks for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego and all 15 install disk for Photoshop 3 at the same time without having to eject a thing.

Anyways, I gotta go wrestling my neighbor’s kids. They need a good role model.