Normally I stay away from terrorism (if the story is not about something horrible happening to a beautiful white woman or some perfectly healthy babies, my mind tends to wander), but the Department of Homeland Security needs our help. Michelle Malkin, ever vigilant, reminds us that Shoe bombs are making a comeback. And she’s not shy about racially profiling:

It would have helped to know more about the people involved with carrying around these shoes in Europe. I’m guessing they weren’t Irish Catholics.

I couldn’t agree more, all it takes to nip these MOCCASIN MUNITIONS in the bud are a few minor law enforcement strategies:

• No Middle Eastern males allowed on planes. You’re right Michelle, these people are definitely not Irish Catholics, or Siamese like yourself. If a Middle Eastern male really has to fly, he can take a separate plane.
• No shoes allowed on planes. No shoes, no shoe bombs. THIS ISN’T COMPLICATED, PEOPLE.
• No socks allowed on planes. You can’t hide anything with bare feet. Including fungus, so please take care of your toenails.
• Life sentence with no chance of parole for all pedophiles. Nothing to do with shoe bombers, just a pet project of mine.
• No planes. What’s wrong with cars or boats or trains? All have been proven UNBOMBABLE.
• No pedophiles. Did I mention this one already?