by Hadji Williams of Knock the Hustle

A shocking new campaign started by some INCENDIARY BLOGGERS accuses the mediaof favoring missing person cases involving pretty white girls while ignoring their minority counterparts. This accusation is SCURRILOUS and UNFOUNDED. How anyone could suggest that I do not care for a missing person simply because of the color of their skin is inconceivable. Can you not see that I am a person of INFINITE GENTLE COMPASSION? I’d like to take anyone who suggests otherwise behind the woodshed and abuse them verbally until they are driven to suicide, the gutless craven WEENIES.

The fact is, friends, I care deeply for all pretty missing persons. There is no greater tragedy in the world than an attractive child being taken from her parents. Regardless of RACE, CREED or ETHNICITY, a cute child is a cute child, and we should be doing everything we can to protect these lookers from those who would do them harm. I will personally NOT REST until this country is free from kidnappings of comely, appealing children.

Anyone who suggests otherwise is asking to be beat around the face with the ugly stick. BRING IT ON.