Ever since I got back from jail, I’ve been feeling a bit empty. At first I thought I just needed the new Prada handbag, but that didn’t really help. Mostly because that bag came out while I was in jail, so it was already old news.
So next I got another tiny dog to carry around. I named it Jimi Hendrix, after the muppet. But it turns out that small canines are totally out! The only celeb still buying dogs is Britney Spears, and I don’t want to be associated with that hag.
So what is it? What’s the new hot thing that all the celebrities have that I don’t? A mini-human!
Nicole, Angelina, all the Spice Girls. I need to hop on this bandwagon and fast; who knows how long this baby trend is going to last? I’m giving myself one year to get pregnant. There’s so much to do and so little time! I’ve been told that babies are slightly heavier than Chihuahuas, so I’ll have to get in shape if I want to carry little London Hilton around in my purse.
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