Lately there has been a big hullabaloo about a Dr. Stephan Wolfram supposedly rewriting science with some oddball theory. In fact his book "A New Kind Of Science" holds a #2 ranking at Amazon.com.
Now I don't know much about Dr. Wolfram or his "theories" and "math" but I do know that people deserve credit where credit is due... and Mr. Wolfram is taking all my credit!
You see friends I myself have been rewriting science for years! Whether I do it to explain how Jonah could live in a big fish or how Jesus could ride a T-Rex without getting eaten I've been SMAO (Sciencing My Ass Off) for the last 60 years! But why is it he gets all the praise and credit from scientists and I just get yelled at? I mean it took him decades to come up with his theories on universal alpo-rhythms, but my "there were dinosaurs in the garden of Eden" theory only took a couple of minutes to think up, which conclusively proves I'm faster and smarter.
It's about time me and my lab partner (Jesus) get some credit for this science stuff. Until then I'll be KOK (Kneeling On Knees) and practicing "Jesu-science".
Yasuo Fukuda:
religion is not science.
1/5/2009 2:47 PMChristopher Walken:
No, but masturbation is. And Lord knows that Mr. Robertson knows qute a bit about that.
1/5/2009 3:31 PMPat Robertson:
Rumors about me masturbating to Harry Potter movies are greatly exaggerated, it was very hot in that theater! So hit I sweated so much my pants no longer fit and fell straight down. Those stains were sweat stains, in fact one or two may have been shaped like Jesus!
1/5/2009 5:28 PMBill O'Reilly:
Pfffhhhhp! Science can hardly be proven! It's not like they test and retest these "theories" as they call them, and habitually observe them in action always able to predict the outcome under the same circumstances!
That would just be silly!
1/5/2009 9:19 PMChristopher Hitchens:
Tell me Pat - do the laws of physics inhibit the expansion of your ego?
1/5/2009 9:07 PM