Hey, who's the fart-knocking dork-brain who wrote this? You're telling me that Eli is better than me? ME???? Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Look, all right, I sat by and watched my faggy little brother get lucky in the Super Bowl this past year. I watched him win the MVP trophy and then dry hump it every night before in bed. I even watched him try to beat me in some sort of bizarre licking competition.
But enough is enough. I am Peyton Manning. I am the FIRST Manning Super Bowl MVP! I have big feet and a bigger forehead, and I can whip dumb-dumb Eli at anything! Including football, Mr. Dork-Brain!
In case you're not convinced, here are some other examples of why I am better:
- When you Google my name, you get almost a gazillion more results than when you Google terd-brain's. (And you don't get any pics that are clearly photoshopped, Eli!)
- My little brother is a pervert. He took nasty pictures of Annika Sorenstam! She's gross!
- And finally, I am older than him, which makes me his big brother. Which means that right about now, I'm gonna go stick that kid's face in dog doo.
Tom Brady:
Peyton- I miss you. Giselle is ok but I really like the way you compliment my lips.
10/6/2008 6:13 PMBen Bernanke:
All of that endorsement money you made is down the tubes!
10/7/2008 3:48 PMEli Manning:
They took us back stage after that pic and shot porn. It was supposed to be a ball room scene. The director got mad when I dribled it on the floor instead of shooting it on her face.
10/8/2008 12:44 AMPeyton Manning:
Dude, that's GROSS! I'm tellin' Mom on you!
10/8/2008 8:09 PMAnn Coulter:
Gay
10/14/2008 12:15 PM