Hello, Hammies!

Today, I removed Adam Vinatieri from my "might be gay" list. Nice work, Adam! Keep up the hetero behavior and we might have a chance this season.

Meantime, as the Thanksgiving holiday approaches, it's time to be thankful - thankful I'm not a turkey! Haha!

Hey, what are you doing this Thanksgiving? Guess what I'm doing? Don't tell anyone, but every year me and my dork-face little brother get together, break out the family video camera, make sure Momma and Daddy are passed out from moonshine at the Turkey Party, and we make our annual YouTube video. Man, we can be really funny and creative.

Here's the shot list for this year's video (asterisks are next to annual video traditions):

- Me farting on Eli's head.*

- Me farting on Momma's cat while it sleeps.*

- Eli porking his Tom Brady poster while wearing an Adam Vinatieri mask.

- Eli taking a dump in the electrical cord aisle of Wal-Mart, and after we run out of the store we realize we forgot our car keys on the shelf next to the dump pile, so then we have to go back in and get them and run out again.*

- Me throwing Daddy's bowling balls at Eli's face.

- Eli shooting dumb-dumb Crippled Cooper (our other brother) with a BB gun.

- Me punching Eli in the throwing arm until he says "I'm gay."*

- Me and Eli doing shots out of Daddy's liquor cabinet until Eli pukes.

- Eli getting a nakie shot of my wife Ash in the shower.*

- Cool skateboarding shots.*

I just hope this year Momma doesn't find our account on YouTube. When she saw our video last year, she took away all electronic devices. That was almost as bad as Eli winning the Super Bowl.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!