Hey guys, what's up? It's been a while since I've posted, because I've been really busy since I got hurt. I'm not sure what a "quadriceps" is, but boy, it can cause trouble. About the only thing I could do was eat macadamia nuts and watch "Days of Our Lives," which is an awesome reality show, even better than "Temptation Island." I wanted to spend a couple extra days on the DL, actually, because things were finally heating up between Daniel and Chelsea, and Max was going to reveal a big secret, but Giradi kept bugging me about getting back into the lineup. I was like, what's the big deal? Even without me, we're still a few games ahead of the Red Sox, right?

Looks like I was wrong. I guess I should have read the paper or opened my email while I was away. Turns out we're not only behind the Red Sox, we're behind both of the bird teams, and this new "Rays" team in our division. What a shocker! When I found that out, I felt worse than Roman right after the evil John Black stole Marlena away.

And man, the clubhouse has gotten all weird. Jeter keeps pacing around and saying motivational stuff like, "We've got to power through this, keep our chins up! We're the Yankees! Have some pride!" Petite's really moody. At least Giambi is trying to be proactive about the situation. He's been wearing gold thongs to try and bust out of his slump. Did you see how I said bust out? It would be a pun if Giambi boys weren't shrunken little raisins.

I don't let the little things get me down. I mean, when I played for Texas we were in last place all the time, and everyone was happy. Coach would say, "Okay guys, go out there, have fun, and try to hit a few dingers. And if we win, that's the icing on the cake." But here when we're losing, Steinbrenner's son comes in and tells us we're a bunch of worthless idiots who don't play hard. Hey, we lost the game, do we need to lose our self-esteem too?

(Photo credit: Associated Press)