So the other night, I'm hanging out with a few friends and me phone rings. Like, me own personal cell. I don't (soberly) give that number to any old bloke. I even had it changed the last time Blake called me to cry about prison food. Anyway, I didn't recognize the number. Looked American.

"Amy? Hey, this is Charlie Sheen."

Total blank. I ask around and somebody sez he's that troubled actor. So I tell him I loved him in Iron Man.

"No, um… Two and a Half Men, Wall Street, Platoon…?"

"Wall Street Platoon? Is that a comedy, then?"

He tells me he's always loved me voice and albums and lifestyle. Kept repeating "lifestyle."

"Really, I think we're so similar. Lifestyle-wise." He goes on about how he loves hearing news of me parties coz his new lady doesn't like fun.

"You know how to have fun, Amy. I mean, Brooke's fun, she's great, but…she doesn't get our kind of fun. Did I mention I'm getting married tomorrow? Married, yup. This one's, uh, this one's gonna, you know, last." Then he sighs into the phone. "Wanna get together? I can be on a plane in an hour."

Fucking hell. I tell him I'm already married and kind of busy.

"Sure, yeah, no problem. This was stupid of me. I mean, I am getting married, right? To the good girl! Wouldn't know a bong if I clubbed her with it!" Then he started laughing really loud. I hung up.

I looked him up later. He does seem fun, doesn't he? Hope he drops by some time.