Having kids really cuts into your time (and I know about cutting, trust me), so I haven't indulged my real passion lately, getting tattooed. I want to get a tattoo that represents my commitment to humanitarianism and the third world. The tricky thing is picking a country to represent. After all, I'll have it on my body for my entire life until I decide to get it removed in three years.

Brad suggested Darfur but it just seems like a one-genocide-wonder. I thought about doing a full chest piece of the Central African Republic with the Ubangi river running right between my boobs but then Brad would get the wrong idea.  I definitely want a country that will be around later. I don't want to end up like my aunt, who got  East and West Germany tattooed on her butt. Once that wall came down she had to stop wearing g-strings so people wouldn't accuse her of being "geographically incorrect."

So many decisions! And I need to figure out who I'll get the tattoo from. Maybe a elder or a shaman of some tribe could do it. I'll ask Barack about that.

I have to go–I hear someone calling for a juice box. Why can't Brad get his own juice?