The dangers of popcorn are real and possibly the greatest threat our world has ever known. I didn’t take the warnings seriously when popcorn was first a threat. The fine people of Washington State were on the right path when they tried to ban popcorn from that office place thingy. Now people are dying … or are going to die from this delicious snack treat.
I am going to start writing a screenplay based on the life of Wayne Watson, life long popcorn eater, first time popcorn lung sufferer. Of course I’ll change his name to something stronger like Lance Striker, and I’ll make Angie the hot doctor who realizes that it is popcorn causing my cancer. If Angie lets me, we’ll have a really hot love scene in heavily buttered popcorn.
Angie is very busy being naked in her new movie Grendel, but I am sure she’ll be on board for this. She’ll be really angry at popcorn when she hears about what it’s done.