Bros, I'd like to talk about an issue that I take very seriously: the Olympics. A lot of people are protesting them this year, and I've joined the ranks. Why? Because the Olympics are just the most boring times of television I've ever been put through in my life.

Seriously. Have you ever sat and actually WATCHED any of the Olympics? Running around in circles, throwing javelins (not at human targets!), swimming laps, and diving. DIVING. Want to see the opposite of excitement in its purest form? Go ahead, watch the diving competition. But if you end up having to claw your own eyeballs out, don't say I didn't warn ya.

We've already suffered through that stupid writers' strike, which left us with a king's ransom in boring-ass reality television to sit through. This put us all in a weakened state due to boredom. If we're subjected to another summer Olympics, I fear all of our brains may simultaneously melt into goo. I cannot, in good conscience, just sit around and let that happen.

America, we need to stand strong, and protest the hell out of these boring, dull, pointless Olympics. If only we had something to combat this menace...hey! What ever happened to the XFL?

(Photo credit: Associated Press)