Life can be funny sometimes y’all, and then sometimes it can be funny and scary at the same time, like when homeless people ask you for money. Or like the other day when I went to the gas station to get me some gum; that was funny and scary at the same time.

I swear I just went in there for the gum, but when I was trying to pay, the funny/scary stuff started happening. Right as I got to the cash register with the gum, I heard this little boy’s voice say “Hey! Britney!” At first I thought it was one of my friends, but then I realized it was the bag of beef jerky. That part was funny, ‘cause I’d think of beef jerky talkin’ with a real husky voice, or maybe a British accent like Austin Powers … but not like a little boy.

“Hey Britney, it’s me, the beef jerky,” he said. “Listen, if you don’t steal that blue lighter on the display, I’ll set your head on fire!” I told him I’d set his head on fire first, but then he said he didn’t have a head. That part was scary. But then he told me that if anyone tried to stop me, I could just take off my pants. He was right about that, and I didn’t want my head to be on fire, so I stole the lighter.

I guess that makes me a wanted woman, y’all.

Photo by The Viking… via Flickr