You know what I was just thinkin’ about? Well first I was thinkin’ how it’s not fair that all dogs go to heaven. Or is that even true, or just a rumor? If I worked in Heaven, there are definitely some dogs I would make sure went straight to Hell; like the ones that are always staring at me like they know me? They don’t know me.

But then I was thinkin’ how maybe now that I’m sorta this wise and mature person, I should give some advice to my little sister Jamie Lynn. She could probably use it right now, and since we don’t talk much, I’ll just do it here.

Jamie Lynn,

Here’s all you need to remember: Babies think they know everything, but really they don’t – you probably know way more than a baby, even a smart one. Plus all they care about is themselves and when you’re gonna feed them n’ stuff, but you have to look out for yourself ‘cause it’s hard work being a mom. And if the lord gives you a crier, one trick I learned is that a baby can’t cry when he’s under water ;)

Also, after you have the nervous breakdown where you hold your kid hostage in the bathroom for hours, do not believe Dad when he says he just wants to take you shopping at the "cool new store" inside the mental ward at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center ...