Can someone who’s real smart about India please explain something to me: Why do they keep having all these crazy special power babies over there, and in America we never get any? Is there some pill they have that we don’t know about or something?

Seriously y’all, I was kinda jealous when I heard about the girl with like 800 arms or legs or whatever – that was pretty wild. And then I heard about this teenager in India who’s the size of a backpack, and she’s recordin’ albums with pop stars ‘n stuff. And then these other Indians just had a baby with two faces I guess? Did you guys even know that babies are allowed to have two faces?? Anyway, I didn’t.

I just don’t think it’s fair; in America, if your pregnant people are just curious if it’s gonna be a boy or a girl. But in India, they’re probably like “Oh, I wonder if it’s gonna be a girl with six heads and two sets of wings, or a glow-in-the-dark boy with wheels instead of feet?”