Everyone is saying "recession" these days (side note: not as many people are saying "grundle" anymore).  Anyway, people are talking as if the sky is falling.  I think they are right, but I tend to think a little silver lining is coming down with it also. 

Think about how boring Americans are these days.  Don't you think it would spice things up a bit to reduce everyone to hunter-gatherers, or at least paupers?   You know that asshole at the office who always tells you about his sniveling little kid's science fair or choir concert?  Imagine instead that one day he comes in, clothes in tatters, and outlines in meticulous detail his deliberation over whether or not he should bake his dog for dinner.  Now that is a goddam PowerPoint presentation.

A recession would do wonders for Hollywood as well.  Reality TV, in particular, could benefit from a healthy does of reality.  Have you seen the Kardashian show?  I must admit I have something of a soft spot for that lumpy mess.  But imagine that those celebutards are forced to foreclose on their boutique, and Bruce has to put Kim out on the street to turn tricks.  You are damn right I would Keep Up with that.

A recession might also help to allay America's ignorance of the international community.  We could learn a whole lot about the rest of the world when they hire us to do their bullshit jobs.  I would very much like to see Wall Street banking bozos fumbling Windows support calls from Bangalore or trying to sew Nikes together for kids in Indonesia.  That would be totally backwards and the funny!

Also, keep in mind that every dip in the Dow increases the odds that I get to go peanut butter and bananashit crazy and start wandering the streets in drag.  Just saying, is all.

Anyway, my point is that a recession doesn't mean all doom and gloom.  True, it might decimate those who are unable to live within meager means.  But those people are pigfuckers anyway.  And it will give the rest of us so much to talk about!  Ok, I am outta here to go buy a rifle, a year's supply of water, and a shovel to start digging a fort.  When was the last time you got to dig a fort?!?  "Recession"?  More like "recess"!

[Images courtesy of user anemi at flickr.com and the AP, respectively]