By now you have heard my threat to resign if the violence in Tibet continues. Many are wondering, "Is he serious?" Well, I'm serious about one thing: blowing this curried lamb-skewer stand and heading to Daytona Beach for Spring Break!

Resign/reschmign! You can't resign from being the Dalai Lama. The bad Karma would swarm me like killer bees and devour my flesh faster than UV rays on the milky belly of a freshman girl. That reminds me: time to pack! I won't be taking a Speedo. I need a little breathing room. China's got my jewels in a vice grip. And I'm not talking about  Buddhism's traditional Three Jewels of Wisdom, if you know what I mean.

Well, I'm scheduled for surfing lessons tomorrow with a guy named "Tubular Taylor," so I gots to get my hustle on. I just wanted to assure you that I am not resigning. I just need a little R & R.  That doesn't mean "resign and reincarnate." It means, "Rum and raves." See ya!