I’m live-blogging Spring Break from da beach, my Dalai-Dolls. (I’m trying out new names for my fans.) I’ve had like, seventeen Gin Fizzes today. Those things go straight to your head. Good thing I’ve transcended my ego, or I’d have a wicked hangover tomorrow.
Normally I don’t work on vacay, but I had to respond to China’s recent verbal attacks against me. They called me “a wolf in a monk’s robe” and “a monster with a human face.” Then they blamed the recent violence on “the Dalai clique.” Are you, like, seventeen, China? Did someone snub you at the mall?
Whatever! My clique don’t quit, bitches. We’re gonna go all non-violent on your Chinese asses, bust your soul, old Mahayana school!
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I gotta slow down on the gin. The girls from Kappa Sigma at Georgia Tech want to do shots later. China, why don’t you go invade North Korea or something? That should keep you busy. Anyway, I think I see an MTV camera. Later!