Hi Everyone. Welcome to my annual list, which People Magazine has described as “possibly the third most influential fashion index for sufferers of autism and Tourette’s syndrome.” The pickings have gotten a whole lot slimmer since spring fashion week at Abu Ghraib dropped off the calender, but this year's winners are still a remarkable group of fashion originals. Let's take a look.

10. Christopher Hitchens: Everything about the Hitch says “integrity”; here’s a guy who lives hard, drinks hard, writes hard, a genuine Byronic knight errant. But you know what? He’s really not. He’s just a guy who has trouble putting one leg in each side of his pants.

9. Emanuel Schiffgens: My dear friend and Raja of Germany. Dr. Schiffgens dazzles in his white frock coat and gold crown (a gift from the Maharishi himself). People sometimes ask, why does the Raja always wear the same outfit? Well why wouldn’t he?

8. Annie, the homeless lady from my block: She does the best she can with what she has. Can you honestly say the same thing?

7. Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel: They’ll always be my Gilmore Girls. I was thinking about offering them a deal to live together in a cage next to my pool, but they were booked.

6. Tracey Ullman: The English Rose comes to Hollywood, and look at her shine. In bling, in a tandem sweater, even in Eiffel Tower pajamas, her rickets and jaundice really pop.

5. Killer Bob: I haven’t seen ol’ Bob for a while. I know he was spending a lot of time with Dick Cheney. But there’s more than one reason while they call him “Killer.” The denim is a classic that won’t ever go out of style. The coiff is Bob's own design. The bloodstained knife is by Louis Vuitton.

4. Craig Ferguson: The braw Scotsman works from such a confined palette, yet he paints such broad strokes. I never understand what he’s saying, but his rumpled suit says, "unpredictable, esoteric, a little bit creepy ... Remind you of anyone?"

3. Helena Bonham-Carter: What can we say about the second English rose on our list? So many faces, so many looks, each more degenerate than the last. Helena, you’re fashion’s doomsday clock. And I want to be there when the bomb goes off.

2. Lila, the Two-Faced Baby: Actually I don’t know what she wears, but c’mon, the girl’s got star power. I’m already planning to cast her. She’ll play opposite the one-eyed ectomorph and the giant who has no knees.

1. Matthew Barney: Number one yet again this year, Barney looks equally dapper as a mutant tap-dancing goat or a pastel piper from the Royal Scots Guard who seems to have eaten his bagpipe along with a portion of his own face. Now that's fashion.  Just don't mention purple dinosaurs unless you want to piss Barney right off.