In trying to gain more notoriety, I’ve been seeking endorsements from celebrities.
I got some good ones: Danny Glover, Sean Penn, Willie Nelson, Larry Flynt and creator of the Gardenburger, Paul Wenner. John Edwards can’t say that. I got the Gardenburger creator. Deal with it!
But, even though I have all these great celebrities endorsing me — hello Ed Begley Jr.!– the kids mostly don’t know who the hell I am. So, I checked out the MTV VMAs the other night to hook up with cool and hip and get the kids on the Kucinich train.
I’ve learned this:
Britney Spears is not the cool and hip to hook up with.
In fact, she needs to stop. Who knew that a 26-year-old blonde girl shaking around would be as exciting as a Bob Dole press conference? She phoned that performance in worse than John McCain at the last “Iraqi Freedom” Booster Rally. Those dancers around her were like W’s staff. Shaking and wiggling and kicking up a storm to do whatever they could to make her look, at least, mediocre. It looked like that MTV Sweet Sixteen show where the guest of honor decides to put on a dance for her 3000 guests, and even though it’s usually a train wreck at least it looks like she practiced a little.
Another one not on the list is Sarah Silverman. Way to MC Sarah. Joan Rivers on her death bed will have a better set than Sarah did at the VMAs. Hey Sarah, could we have one more vagina joke? Brilliant. I don’t need that endorsement. I’ll go to Andrew Dice Clay if I want a celebrity whose act was edgy 20 years ago.
So, no Britney. No Sarah. I’m going with the old standby, my boy 50 Cent!