Hey guys it's me Eddie Murphy.

And me.

Who are you?

I'm FAT Eddie Murphy.

Don't forget me -- fat Eddie Murphy's fat uncle.

I want to have sex with young guys.

Who said that?

Me -- fat grandma Eddie Murphy who still talks about sex.

Ah-CHA!

Sigh. That bit took me five days and 13 rewrites, and I suspect it may only be my A - stuff. This comedy thing used to be easy. I'm starting to think that humor is an ever-changing organism that requires constant evolution and innovation to stay on top.

NOT!

(Sorry that was stolen from Borat -- another timeless character.)

Are farts still funny? Please tell me they are because that is the foundation on which all other jokes are built. Let's say hypothetically someone farted, and that person was in a group of other people, also with gas, and they started to fart as well. These farts get progressively louder and stinkier until the fattest farter at the table poops themselves!

Why was I even questioning myself -- that was gold. I'll wait until your laughter convulsions calm down.

Someone came up to me the other day and said my work has become self-referential. I think I'm above this criticism because I am selves-referential.

But I've got to run. Mike Meyers and I are going to workshop some material. Robin Williams wants to sit in, but between you and me, that dude is a little washed up.