Consider this my unofficial statement.
First of all, to say there was literally a ring of prostitutes for me to sample like an endless buffet, is absurd. It was never more than two or three girls at a time. So by my calculations that makes it, at most, a prostitution prism.
But more importantly this isn’t my fault; it’s just another example of the Republicans doing whatever they can to discredit me, the Democratic Party and my reforms in Albany. They knew that I like to have sex with dirty whores and guess what, when I had one of my infamous dirty whore cravings, magically many of them were available in an elaborate online network.
The report mentioned a specific encounter I had with a woman on the evening of February 13th. As many of you know out there, this is a day officially referred to as Cheaters Day — when men take out their mistresses for Valentine’s Day, because on the 14th they have to be with their boring wives. Well doesn’t that tell you that I at least treated this whore well? It implies a degree of amour, of thinking of this woman of the night as more than a few lady holes.
Many are calling me out for hypocrisy, noting how I strongly condemned a prostitution ring in Staten Island in 2004. Hypocritical? Are you kidding me? I was simply condemning the quality of product being offered in Manhattan’s garbage dump. Comparing a Staten Island skank to a DC Madam … you might as well be spitting in the heavily-made up faces of each classy Emperor VIP broad. Even in my darkest hour, I will not let you do that.
Fuck off.