Politico came up with a list of five reasons I could make a comeback. Here are five more reasons …

1. America loves the underdog. Even if she is whiny and her message is “the best person to man the shit storm that is American politics.” I’m like the Kansas City Royals, except with a larger payroll.

2. I make jokes on the TV. First SNL. Then did you see me go toe-to-toe with Jon Stewart last night? I made him giggle like a little girl. He was totally feeding off my comedic energy and punches throughout the interview and not the other way around. Sigh, I miss improv class at Pine Orchard Community Center.

3. David Plouffe is an asshole. Not really a reason, but it was a new years resolution of mine to put that in any list I make this year.

4. It’s the Mexicans stupid! Also the blue-collar workers. And both Texas and Ohio have them in spades. I wonder if I’d have any chance in Mexico if it doesn’t work out here in the states? Is Vincente Fox still the president? I always liked his name. Much easier to say than Medeved-whatever.

5. Honestly what else are you people going to talk about? Barack and I have monopolized small talk for the last 8 months in the media, at bars, at the watercooler. Have fun chatting about the latest cold front and Lilo’s nude pictures. Face it, you need me to win more than I do. (And I need it really freaking bad.)